


A Very Ross-Walker Christmas

by Cottonstones



Series: Promises and Plans [3]
Category: Panic At The Disco, Young Veins
Genre: Christmas, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-17
Updated: 2012-06-17
Packaged: 2017-11-08 00:05:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/436907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cottonstones/pseuds/Cottonstones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Jude's first real Christmas and his parents want to make it the best that they can.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Very Ross-Walker Christmas

Ryan wakes up to a tiny body bouncing up and down on his chest.

"Daddy! Dad! Wake up! Wake up!"

"Jude, you're gonna crush Daddy," Jon mumbles from the safety of the side of the bed that Jude isn't occupying. "Come here, buddy," he adds. Jude crawls over Ryan, kneeing him in the stomach before ambling over on top of Jon.

"Dad, Dad, did you hear me?" Jude asks. Jon is stretched out on his back with Jude sitting on his stomach. His eyes are closed. Ryan groggily props himself up and looks over at the clock. It's seven in the morning. Jon keeps his eyes closed, but one of his hands rests on Jude's pajama-covered leg. " _Dad_ ," Jude adds as he pokes Jon's cheek.

"What's got you so excited, Jude?" Ryan asks, running a hand through his hair and trying to blink the sleep away. Jude turns his little face to Ryan. He's grinning so wide that the corners of his brown eyes are crinkling.

"It's snowing!" Jude hollers excitedly. Jon opens his eyes, too, because he can't resist the first snowfall of the year.

"It is?" Jon asks. Jude nods enthusiastically, his brown hair already starting to curl and just a little too long, flopping into his eyes.

"Come look! You gotta see! It's so cool!" Jude crawls off of Jon and sits at the end of their bed. Marley is awake now, too, sitting patiently by the side of the bed, waiting to go outside. Ryan knows that there's no hope for him getting back to sleep.

Jon rolls over briefly so that he's hovering right in front of Ryan's face. Jon dips in and presses a firm kiss to Ryan's mouth. Ryan doesn't even mind the morning breath. Jude giggles at his parents kissing. Jon slides out of bed, Marley wagging his tail and yipping, and Jude stands up on the bed and makes grabby hands at Jon.

Jon picks him up, holding Jude in one arm and Marley's collar in the other, and Ryan stretches as he too gets out of bed.

Ryan makes breakfast for Jude, who's still overly excited to see the snow. It's not his first Christmas or his first time seeing snow, but when he was one, he was too young to realize what snow was and, last year, they were in L.A. for Christmas, where there was no snow at all.

This year, they're in Chicago and there are still a few weeks before Christmas, so Ryan can understand Jude's excitement.

"The snow came late this year," Jon says as he peers out one of the windows at the small puffs of white drifting slowly down to earth. Jude is seated at the kitchen table and Dylan is rubbing against his tiny foot. He fidgets as he eats the cereal Ryan's put in front of him.

"Will there be enough to go sledding? Grandma said that you used to go sledding before Christmas, Dad," Jude's voice rings out. Ryan can see Jon smiling. It's something Jon loves: doing those Chicago traditions with Jude and Ryan. Ryan just loves watching Jude and picturing Jon when he was their son's age, red-cheeked and sliding down a steep, snow-covered hill.

Jon comes and sits down at the table next to Jude. He reaches out and ruffles his hair. "Not enough quite yet, but soon, and I promise, we'll go sledding."

"Can Marley come?" Jude asks.

"Sure," Jon says. Jude beams at them. Ryan comes around the side of the table and sets a cup of coffee in front of Jon as he holds his own mug close to him. Jon gets a hand on Ryan and tugs him down into his lap as Jude giggles into his cereal.

As soon as he finishes his breakfast, Jude is ready to go outside and explore. The snow is sticking on the ground now and Ryan figures that it's at least five inches worth. Jon's upstairs changing out of his pajamas and Ryan's finishing his first cup of coffee when Jude walks up to him. Jude barely comes up to Ryan's knee, but he comes over and clings to Ryan's leg, fingers fisting in Ryan's pajama pants.

"Hi, Daddy," Jude says sweetly, too sweetly. Ryan knows by now when his son wants something. Ryan rests a hand on top of Jude's head.

"Hi, Jude." Ryan grins despite himself, because he can't look at his son's tiny face and not at least crack a smile.

"Daddy, can I go outside?" Jude asks. He's got these big, pleading eyes that Ryan's sure he's picked up from Brendon somewhere along the line. He's got his tiny fingers curled around one of Ryan's.

"I think your dad is getting ready to take you out right now," Ryan explains. Jude's face lights up, bouncing a little.

"Then I should get ready, too!" he cries. Ryan nods and sets his coffee cup down. Jude scrambles to his room, his little feet making thumping noises against their wood floors, Marley and the cats following behind him. By the time Ryan gets to Jude's toy-cluttered bedroom, Jude is halfway under his bed.

Ryan avoids the Legos that are strewn near the door – he's stepped on far too many in his lifetime and it never feels any better. Dylan and Clover hop up onto Jude's messy bed. "Jude, what are you looking for?"

"Daddy! Do you know where my boot is?" Jude's muffled voice floats out from under the bed.

"Do you even own boots?" Ryan wonders out loud. If Jude does, then he's never seen them and he's certainly never bought them. Jude wriggles out from under the bed, already wearing one of those fuzzy plaid hats with the flaps that fall down over your ears, and huh...Ryan didn't know he had that, either.

"Is your dad buying you a bunch of winter outfits when I'm not around?" Ryan asks. Jude clambers up on to his bed, jostling Dylan and Clover, and Marley whines and makes like he wants to climb up there, too. Jude apparently found one of his snow boots, attempting to slide it on sans socks and while he's still only wearing his soft, white pajamas, the ones with the little pictures of cats on them.

"Jude, you'll get sick if you go out in just your pajamas and one boot," Jon says as he enters the room. Ryan smirks at him. "And then you won't be able to go sledding and I'll just have to go and be all alone." Jon throws on a pout and Jude tugs off his boot.

"You won't be all alone, Dad, 'cause Daddy-Ryan could go with you!" Jude proclaims. Jon laughs.

"Good point, kid, but then who will stay here and nurse you back to health?" Jon bumps his shoulder against Ryan's and twines their fingers together. Jude screws up his face as he thinks.

"Uncle Spencer and Uncle Brendon could," Jude says. Jon nods and rubs at his chin.

"But you'd have more fun with your dad and I, so let's get ready and go outside, yeah?" he says. Jude throws them a blinding grin and stands up on his bed, waking up the cats and making Marley bark in excitement. "You, too, Ryan," Jon adds. He kisses the side of Ryan's head before he takes the hat off Jude.

Ryan watches them for a minute before he goes to get dressed. Jude climbs on Jon's back, tiny arms looped around his neck. Ryan will admit that Jon is the more organized parent. He knows right where Jude's snow outfit is; hell, he had the sense to buy Jude a snow outfit.

When Jude and Jon are together, it's easy to see how much Jude resembles him. They've got the same smile, the one that makes their eyes crinkle a little; the same eyes; the same laid-back, carefree manner. Jude does resemble Ryan, as well. Ryan bets that he'll be tall like him; he'll have long limbs and the inability to grow facial hair when he's older.

"Da-ad," Jude singsongs. Ryan snaps back to himself. By now, he's more likely to answer to someone calling him 'Dad' than Ryan. "I'm gonna beat you!" Jude exclaims. He's got his pajama top off and Jon is helping him put on a sweater.

"I'll let you in on a little secret, Jude: it doesn't take much to beat your Dad," Jon teases. Ryan shoots him a mock angry look before he laughs.

***

Eventually, the three of them and Marley get outside. Jude's snowsuit is just a little big for him and he's having a little trouble walking. It's been snowing for a few hours and, even though the snow is late this season, it's making up for it in quantity.

"We might be snowed in by tomorrow," Jon jokes. Ryan dreads the thought of all that icy, wet snow around him. Right now, he's bundled up almost as much as his son. He's got on one of his sweaters over his t-shirt and one of Jon's sweaters over that, two pairs of sweatpants over his jeans, and two pairs of socks under his boots. Jon's only wearing a sweater and a pair of jeans over his sweatpants, along with the standard boots, mittens, scarves, and hat. Jude has apparently inherited Jon's Chicago blood.

"Daddy, I want to make a snowman, can we?" Jude asks, his voice muffled by the scarf that Ryan had wrapped around the lower half of his face.

"I thought you wanted to go sledding, Judes," Jon says. Jude nods.

"We can do that tomorrow. I want to make a snowman today."

Ryan and Jon watch Jude waddle out into the snow and drop down to his knees, grabbing handfuls of the thick snow – "good packing snow," as Jon calls it. Jude kneels and works his hands around the snow, smoothing it into a little misshapen ball. Jon takes Ryan's gloved hand in his own and leads him across the expanse of snow-filled yard to where Jude is sitting.

Jon kneels down, too, and Jude peers up at Ryan. "Look, Daddy! I made a snowball!" Jude offers up the snowball to Ryan and Ryan takes it. "You know what to do with it, right, Daddy? You're 'sposed to throw it," Jude explains, like he honestly thinks Ryan doesn't know what to do.

"Alright, I'll throw it," Ryan says, pulling back and winging the icy ball of snow as far as he can. It soars lowly through the air and lands quietly a respectable distance away. Jude jumps up and down excitedly as he turns his gaze up to Ryan once again.

"Wow, Daddy, you throw far!" Jude squeals, dropping back into the thick padding of snow to make another snowball. Ryan grins and Jon laughs a little. Ryan kneels down into the snow while Jude makes another oddly-shaped ball.

"Jude, did you know that, if you roll that ball on the ground, it'll collect more snow and get bigger?” Jon tells Jude, whose little mouth makes an 'o' shape. Jon quickly makes his own snowball to demonstrate. The snow is still falling around them and Marley is running around the backyard, a dark, black blur amongst the pristine white of the snow.

Jon starts pushing his snowball around. It's steadily growing bigger and bigger. Jude's eyes go huge and amazed, like Jon's pulling off some kind of fantastic trick.

"Isn't your dad clever, Jude?" Ryan says. Jude nods enthusiastically. Jon looks up with that lazy smile, still pushing the ball of snow around. It's big enough that it's actually starting to look a little like the bottom of a snowman.

Within an hour, they've got the bottom and half of the middle section of the snowman done. Ryan is surprised that Jude's not freezing, that he's still interested in finishing the snowman. Jon's doing a lot of the work; Ryan had been pushing, but the snow was wetting his gloves and making him uncomfortable. He was much more interested in helping get Jude back up when he falls into a particularly deep pile of snow.

"Daddy! Help!" Jude yells from across the yard. Ryan looks over to see Jude on his back in the snow, the flakes still falling on him. His little arms are waving around, but the snow suit is preventing him from getting up on his own. Ryan trudges over and wraps his arms around Jude's middle, hefting him up. "Thank you, Daddy," Jude puffs out as Ryan sets him right.

Jon, as it turns out, is a pro at making snowmen. He gets the three balls of snow settled one on top of the other and stands proud, admiring his work as Jude and Ryan go into the house to find some decorations for their snowman.

"Can we use this, Daddy?" Jude asks as he lifts one of Ryan's old, floppy hats out of the closet. Jude uses his pleading eyes as he stands in Ryan and Jon’s room and drips melting snow all over the hardwood floor and partially onto the rug.

"Sure, Jude."

"Oh! And this! Can we use this, too?" Jude asks as he pulls out a slightly-frayed, light-pink scarf. Ryan kind of still likes the scarf, but again, his son is using the pleading eyes again and his little cheeks are stained-red and Jon worked really hard on the snowman. "So he won't be cold," Jude adds.

Ryan smiles and moves over to Jude, taking the scarf in one hand and Jude's tiny hand in the other. They go back outside to see Jon throwing snowballs for Marley to chase. Jude breaks away from Ryan and scurries over to Jon.

"Dad! Dad! Look! Daddy said we could use this for the snowman!" Jude exclaims. Jon's eyes widen just a little, because he knows how much Ryan likes that particular scarf. He meets Ryan's eyes and Ryan shrugs and smiles – a scarf is nothing compared to how happy it could make Jude.

Jon lifts Jude up and lets him put the hat on the snowman, who's taller than both Jude and Jon. Ryan is the one who takes the scarf and winds it carefully around the snowman's neck. Jon had already found sticks for arms, so he and Jude put them in slowly, along with charcoal pieces for eyes and a mouth. Seriously, Ryan didn't even know they had charcoal in the house.

"Now all he needs is a carrot nose," Ryan remarks. Jude scrunches his face up.

"I don't want him to have a nose," Jude decides. Jon sets him back down to the earth.

"Why not?" Jon laughs. Jude looks up at the snowman again, studying it.

"If he had a nose, it would get cold and he would be sad and want to go somewhere warm and then he wouldn't be in our yard anymore," Jude says sadly. Ryan bites back the laugh that wants to escape him.

"Well, he's your snowman, Judes, so he doesn't have to have a nose," Jon says. Ryan nods in agreement. Jude beams at them and waddles over to Ryan, hugging at his leg.

"I'm hungry," he says. By now, the sky is rapidly darkening around them, the temperature dropping. Yeah, it's time to go in.

"Alright, come on and we'll have some dinner, yeah?" Ryan says. Jude cheers loudly and holds onto Ryan's hand tightly. Jon comes up on the other side and Jude takes his hand, too.

***

"Do you want to start dinner or get Jude out of his snow suit?" Jon asks once they go into the house. Ryan looks down at Jude, how he's shaking his hand, trying to get one of his gloves to come off.

"Snow suit," Ryan decides. It's for the best, really. The stove hates him and, the last time he tried to cook, the water wouldn't even boil and Jon had laughed at him for about an hour. Jon rolls his eyes, but he's smiling, shrugging out of his clothes, leaving them in a messy pile on the rug by the door until he's down to just the pair of basketball shorts he had been wearing this morning and a t-shirt.

Ryan tugs off two of his shirts and throws them next to Jon's. He then sets to work on Jude, who, now that he's in the house, is far too hot and starting to wiggle around and whine.

"I can't get out!" he cries. Ryan finds the zipper in the back and tugs it down, unfolding the thick, damp fabric so that Jude can get his arms free. Jude sits and they take off his boots. He removes the scarf from his face. His little face is all red and his hair is sticking to his forehead under his hat.

In the kitchen, Ryan can hear the rattle of their pans and Jon cooking.

Finally, Jude and Ryan get the snowsuit off the rest of the way. Jude drops it next to Jon and Ryan's snow-damp clothes. Ryan will take it all to the laundry room in a little while.

Jude also tugs off his sweater so that he's shirtless and pushes his damp curls out of his face. "I'm hot now," Jude reasons, skipping off to the living room, grabbing up his toys along the way. Ryan grabs up the damp clothes and passes through the kitchen where Jon is stirring something in a pot.

On his way back through the kitchen, just as Ryan is passing by, Jon turns and wraps his hand around Ryan's waist, pulling him in close. Ryan stumbles against Jon before he turns around to face him.

"I didn't know me doing laundry was a turn-on for you," Ryan says. Jon smirks.

"Just like my snowman-building skills never fail to seduce you," Jon says as he leans in close and brushes his lips against Ryan's in a light kiss. Ryan laughs against Jon's mouth.

"I'm not as easy to impress as our son," Ryan muses. Jon nuzzles his nose against Ryan's cheek and Ryan lets his fingers play in the long hair at the back of Jon's neck. Ryan kisses Jon, soft and loving, and Jon hums happily into the press of their mouths.

Their silence is ended by the phone in the living room ringing and a shout of "I'll get it!" from Jude. Jon releases Ryan and jerks his head towards the living room.

"Better go see who it is, lest our son accidentally hear Brendon ramble about sex or swear or something," Jon says. Ryan's eyes widen dramatically, almost comically, before he's rushing out of the kitchen. Ryan finds Jude perched right on the middle of the couch, sinking into the soft cushions, the phone pressed to his ear.

"It snowed and – and we got to make a snowman and did you know my dad is really, really good at making snowmen? Oh, and – um, also, Daddy let me use his scarf for the snowman, but he doesn't have a nose, 'cause then he'd be cold and leave our yard and go live somewhere else – "

"Jude, who are you talking to?" Ryan questions, smiling. He hopes that whoever Jude is talking to is someone who knows them well and not some stranger that has to be subjected to Jude's rambling, which is something else he inherited from Ryan.

Jude tips his head back against the couch and blinks up at Ryan. “Uncle Spenther!” Jude replies happily, the slight lisp he has curling around Spencer's name.

"Oh, well, does he want to talk to me?" Ryan asks. Jude frowns.

"No, I want to talk to him," Jude pouts. His eyes widen as he listens to whatever Spencer is saying. "Oh, okay, Uncle Spenther. I love you, too!" Jude says. He bounces up on the couch, leaning over the back to hand the phone to Ryan. "He says he has something really important to tell you," Jude informs him. Ryan grins down at him.

***

Jon makes baked Mac 'n' Cheese, one of Jude's favorites. At least Ryan can take comfort in the fact that his kid isn't a picky eater. Jude eats happily and swings his legs back and forth. Dylan is sleeping on Jon's bare foot and Clover is rubbing against Ryan’s ankle while Marley sits next to Jude just in case he drops some macaroni.

"Dad, tomorrow, we can go sledding?" Jude asks around a mouthful of macaroni.

"We will if you remember not to talk with your mouth full," Jon points out. Jude promptly closes his mouth.

"But we can, right? You'll take me like you did when you were little?" Jude asks once he's swallowed down his food. Jon smiles wide and lazy and nods.

"Sure thing, buddy. I promised, didn't I?"

Jude nods eagerly and smiles, a mirror copy of Jon's. "Daddy, you'll come, too, right?" He turns those big eyes on Ryan and Ryan just – how can he possibly say 'no?'

"Yes, I'll be there, too, even though sledding probably isn't the safest thing for Daddy," Ryan laughs. Jon snorts across the dinner table. Jude, though, is practically beaming, wide and bright.

Bath time comes after dinner. It's more or less an excuse for Jude to run around the house naked before one of them catches him and puts him in the tub. He's not quite old enough to wash his hair on his own, so Ryan sits on the edge of the tub and works the no-tears-promised shampoo into Jude's mess of hair.

Bedtime is the hardest. Jude seems to think of a million different ways each night to keep himself awake just that much longer. Ryan reads him a chapter of a story each night and even gives in to Jude's request to make the characters all have different voices.

Jon comes in and tucks him in. They both give him goodnight kisses. Sometimes, one or both of the cats will sleep on the bed with Jude. He curls into the blanket with heavy eyes and whispers 'good night's to both his parents.

After Jude is asleep, Jon and Ryan take time to clean up or shower or just spend time together, all the things that they don't have time to do when Jude is awake. Tonight, they're both tired and wind up just going to bed, Ryan curled around Jon.

***

When Ryan wakes up in the morning, Jon is still peacefully asleep. Jude didn't come to wake them up, which is almost never a good sign and means that he's found something more interesting to get into. Ryan slides out of bed and tries to blink the sleep from his eyes as he stumbles around the house.

He finds Jude in the bathroom. He's standing on a chair from the kitchen and looking in the mirror. Jude has the black make-up left over from Halloween sitting on the counter and Ryan stops short in the doorway. Jude turns to look at him. Ryan's stuck between laughter and horror.

Jude's got the black make-up smeared all over his chin and the lower half of his face. It's carefully spread around his mouth and under his nose; it almost, almost, looks like a beard. "Hi, Daddy..." Jude says carefully, like he knows he did something wrong.

"I – what are you doing, Jude?" Ryan laughs a little. He shouldn't encourage Jude, but it's pretty funny. Jude smiles wide, his tiny teeth overly-bright against the black mess of make-up on his face.

"I just wanted to look like Dad," Jude says. Ryan laughs again.

"Your dad has worked a very long time on his beard," Ryan explains. He doesn't really have the heart to tell Jude that he might wind up with just a little scruff someday. Hell, Ryan doesn't even want to think of the day when Jude is old enough to grow a beard. "Let me go get my camera," Ryan tells Jude. Jude shuffles around so that he's sitting on the counter facing the door.

Jon is still asleep in the room when Ryan grabs his camera and goes back to the bathroom where he snaps a picture of Jude grinning with his made-up face. Now is the difficult part: cleaning Jude up.

Ryan gets Jude cleaned up and herded into the kitchen. He makes Jude's breakfast. Marley is whining next to Ryan. It's usually Jon’s job to take Marley out; now that Ryan thinks about it, it's strange that Jon isn't up yet. Ryan takes Marley out and makes sure Jude is eating before he goes to check on Jon.

Jon isn't sleeping, but he's lying in the bed on his back, his breathing harsh and his t-shirt damp with sweat. "Jon, what's...are you okay?" Ryan asks, his voice alarmed. Jon wheezes in response. Ryan leans down and tugs the comforter off of Jon, pushing his slick bangs off of Jon's forehead. "You're burning up," Ryan says quietly. Jon groans and tries to sit up.

"I'm...okay," Jon says, his voice a rough rumble.

"You're obviously not," Ryan says. "I think you're sick, Jon."

Jon shakes his head. He looks miserable. "I'm not. I...I don’t know how this happened."

"I think snow is what got you in this mess. I should probably take your temperature."

"You're gonna put it in my mouth, right?" Jon asks as Ryan goes into their bathroom. Ryan laughs a little.

"Yeah, unless you really want it the other way?"

"Too sick for sex," Jon mumbles.

Ryan returns to the bed and presses the thermometer into Jon's mouth. He brushes away Jon's sweat-damp hair once again and Jon sighs out. The thermometer beeps and Ryan takes it back again. Jon's temperature is high, but not enough to have to worry about.

"How are you feeling?" Jon rarely gets sick, so this is a pretty big surprise. Jon shrugs.

"My nose is stuffed and I have a headache and my throat hurts – " Jon breaks down into a bought of harsh coughing. Ryan slides his hand under Jon's shirt, long fingers tracing up and down Jon's back. "And there's that," Jon finishes weakly.

"Are you hungry? I made Jude eggs, so I could make you – "

"Jude..." Jon says suddenly. He looks even more miserable than before. "I'm supposed to take him sledding."

Ryan takes his hand out from under Jon's shirt and gets his fingers on Jon's jaw, tipping his head up.

"You know you can't."

"But I promised."

"He'll understand, Jon," Ryan tries to tell him, but Jon shakes his head. He tries to push up off the bed, but his legs tremble underneath him and he sinks back down into the mattress. "Lie down, Walker," Ryan says, gently easing Jon down onto the bed and covering him back up once again.

"Can you take him?" Jon asks as he lets Ryan get him comfortable. Ryan freezes up. The thought of spending the majority of the day on top of an icy, snow-covered hill in a park in Chicago somewhere doesn't appeal to him, but disappointing his son isn't an appealing option, either.

"Maybe we can just wait till you feel better?" Ryan suggests. Jude probably doesn't even remember the promise to go sledding. Jon sighs weakly. Guilt worms its way inside of Ryan's chest. As if he knew they were talking about him, Ryan hears the tell-tale sounds of little feet against wooden floors and Jude slides into the room.

"Sledding today!" he shouts. Jon's eyes go all round and sad. Ryan pushes a hand into his hair; he already knows he's fucked. Jude stops short next to Ryan's leg and peers at Jon with big, huge eyes. "Wake up now, Dad, 'cause it's sledding today!"

"Jude, your dad doesn't feel good today," Ryan begins. Jude switches that big-eyed gaze up to Ryan. He curls a hand in Ryan's pajama pants and looks worried, his brown eyes growing shiny.

"You're sick, Dad?" Jude whispers softly. Jon clears his throat in an attempt not to sound so pitiful.

"Yeah, buddy, I am."

Ryan watches in horror as Jude's lip begins to tremble and his eyes well up with tears.

"Jude, what's – "

"I don't want Dad to die!" Jude shouts suddenly. Both Ryan and Jon are taken by surprise. Jude is full on crying now and Ryan's heart is crumpling.

"Jude...what? Your dad isn't dying. Tell him, Jon," Ryan urges. Jon sits back up and pats the spot on the bed next to him. Jude clambers on to the bed and sits sniffling next to Jon.

"Judes, I'm just a little sick. I'm not going to die, buddy," Jon tries to explain. Jude bites his lip and waits, like there's something his parents aren't telling him. "Why would you think that?" Jon asks. He ruffles Jude's hair and Jude shrugs sadly.

"Cinderella's Dad got sick and died," Jude tells them, his voice quiet and serious.

"Remind me to tell Brendon no more Disney movies," Ryan says with a sigh. Jon shifts a little and pulls Jude into his lap. Ryan wants to cringe, because Jude could catch whatever Jon has.

"Jude, I'm not going to die. Remember when you had the chicken pox?" Jon asks. Jude sniffs and nods. "Well, see, it's like that. I'll get better soon."

Jude wriggles out of Jon's grip and turns so that he's face-to-face with him. "But what about sledding?" His voice is tiny again and his are eyes big and watery. Jon bites his lip, his eyes going just as big as Jude's.

"I'm going to take you, Jude," Ryan says quickly. Jude and Jon both turn their head to look at him.

"Really?" Jude asks, standing on the bed and bouncing over to Ryan. Ryan barely has time to catch him before he tumbles off the bed. Jude is still small and light enough that Ryan can hold him on his hip with one arm wrapped around him.

"Yeah, so you better go get your snow stuff together," Ryan says. Jude grins and leans in to press a kiss to Ryan's slightly stubbly cheek before he's wiggling to be set back down. Ryan unleashes him and Jude races out of the room. Ryan watches him go. He can feel Jon's gaze on him just as much as he can feel Jon smiling.

Ryan turns to meet his gaze and, sure enough, Jon is grinning, wide and dopey.

"You totally just earned that 'Father of the Year' mug in the cupboard," Jon tells him. Ryan laughs.

"Yeah, well, you'll be sorry when I come home sick, too, and then Jude and the animals will have control of the house." Ryan moves back over to Jon and lets his hand cup the back of Jon's skull. Jon relaxes into his touch.

"That's probably been his plan all along," Jon says with a rough laugh. "Our son is an evil genius."

"Hm, do you want me to pick you up some medicine on the way home?" Ryan asks. He's steadily carding his fingers through Jon's hair and, if Jon's eyes fluttering closed is any indication, he's enjoying it.

"Nah, I'll get Tom to go pick some up for me," Jon rumbles. "He owes me."

"Daddy, I can't find my boot!" Jude hollers from down the hall. Jon laughs weakly. Ryan pushes Jon's hair away from his face before he plants a soft kiss to Jon's forehead. "You just stay in bed until further notice," he whispers to Jon.

Jon shifts until he's lying on his back again. "Can do."

***

Ryan isn't used to having Jude all on his own. Jon is the one who stays home with Jude all day while Ryan works and, when he gets home, there's a lot of co-parenting going on. Rarely is it just Ryan and Jude. It isn't bad, but still, Ryan's a little nervous.

He once again gets Jude all bundled up in his freshly washed and dried snowsuit, mittens, and scarf. They found Jude's other boot underneath the chair in the living room and his hat in the bathroom. Ryan goes and gets himself dressed in the warmest clothes he owns and one of Jon's coats. Jon just smiles at him groggily from the bed and tells him to 'man up.' Ryan might possibly throw a pillow at him.

The sleds are brand-new and in the garage. Jon's old sled from when he was a kid is back here, too. It's wood and metal and a little dirty, but Ryan doesn't take that one. That one, he'll save for Jon. Ryan didn't buy the sleds and, if he had, he certainly wouldn't have bought the damn circular ones that Jon bought.

Ryan has never been sledding and these brightly-colored circles might as well be a death wish.

Jude is running around the yard in huge circles, waiting for Ryan. He packs up the sled and he and Jude go back inside to say goodbye to Jon. Jude's snowsuit is already a little wet from the fluffy flakes of snow that are falling with increased frequency.

Jon looks half-asleep when they come back inside, but he sits up. Jude is grinning under his layers of winter clothes. He loosens his scarf from where it's covering his mouth and picks up Jon's hand in both of his little ones. "Bye, Dad," Jude says quietly, pressing a kiss gently to the back of Jon's hand. Jon laughs.

"Um...Jude, why are you kissing my hand?" Jon asks. Jude looks up at Jon before he looks back at Ryan.

"Daddy told me not to kiss you on the mouth or I'll get sick, too," Jude says.

"But I didn't tell him to do that," Ryan laughs. "Where'd you see that, Jude?" Ryan asks.

"Aladdin does it to Jasmine," Jude says simply.

"Okay, seriously, no more Disney."

Jon rests his hand on the top of Jude's head. "You can give me a hug without getting sick, Judes," Jon says. Jude leans in and hugs Jon.

"Love you, Dad," Jude says before he slips away.

"Love you, too."

"And I love you, too," Ryan says as he leans in and kisses Jon on the forehead again.

"You should kiss me on the mouth," Jon says sadly. Ryan laughs.

"Then I'll get sick and Jude's plan will have worked."

***

Jon gives Ryan directions to the best park in Chicago for sledding. It seems to be a well-known spot, because there are a million other families there. Jude is excited and watching as kids slide down the snow-covered hill on their wooden sleds or plastic spheres.

Jude holds one of Ryan's hands. Ryan drags the two sleds in his other hand as they make their way to the top of the hill. It's relatively easy to find a spot. The mother next to Ryan smiles at him, so at least she'll be friendly.

"Can I go by myself, Dad? Like the other kids?" Jude asks. Ryan really isn't sure if Jude is ready, but he thinks that, if Jon were here, he'd say it was okay. There are kids as little as Jude who are also sledding alone. Ryan eventually gives in and helps position Jude on the bright-yellow sphere. He feels like he should be giving tips, but he doesn't know anything about sledding. The mother next to him must notice and take pity on him.

"First time?" she asks. Ryan and Jude both nod in response.

The woman bends down to Jude's level. Jude doesn’t shy away. Ryan's pretty pleased that Jude has Jon's outgoing nature. "All you have to do is hold on to the rim and keep your feet inside the circle," she tells him. Jude grins and nods. Ryan is a little relieved.

Jude holds on tight and, once he's ready, he lets Ryan give him a push down the hill. Ryan watches with his stomach in knots as Jude slides down the hill. He looks happy the whole way down and even comes to an easy stop at the bottom.

"He should be fine," the woman next to Ryan says. "My daughter is about his age and she does well."

Ryan thanks her. He's about to go and help Jude back up the hill, but he grabs up his sled and is already heading back up on his own. Ryan gets this odd burst of fear and pride.

***

Jude falls asleep on the drive home, his head hanging at an odd angle and the toy he'd gotten out of his Happy Meal still clutched in his hands. Ryan himself is wet and tired – wet, because Jude had begged and pleaded with him to go down the hill, too. Ryan did, but his trip was nowhere near as smooth as Jude's.

Once they get home, Ryan gets the sleds out first and sets them in them against the side of the house. He gets Jude out of the car and Jude only whimpers in his sleep, unwilling to be disturbed. Ryan grabs the bag of fast food he'd gotten for Jon and tries to balance both and still trudge through the snow and into the house.

Lucky for Ryan, Jon is standing in the doorway, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders.

"Forget what I said earlier," Jon says as he takes the bag of food from Ryan and sets it on the kitchen table. "The 'Father of the Year' mug is below you. You need a 'Father of the Universe' mug," Jon decides. Ryan laughs a little. Jude whimpers again.

"Want me to take him?" Jon asks. Ryan hands Jude over, because the car ride home had managed to dry the dampness off his snowsuit. Jon holds Jude carefully, like Jude is some precious treasure that could break easily. It reminds Ryan of the way he himself used to hold Jude when he was first born.

Jon settles on the couch with Jude in his lap and gets Jude's boots, hat, and scarf off. Jude starts moving and making these angry noises, because he doesn't want to be awake. Jude does blink awake and start whining a little. Jon sets him on the floor between his knees and opens Jude's snowsuit. Jon gets Jude out of his snow clothes and lets the blanket fall off his shoulders as he picks up Jude.

Jude wraps his little arms around Jon's neck and rests his head on Jon's shoulder, letting Jon take him to bed while Ryan goes to the bedroom and strips out of his damp clothes. When he comes back out, Jude's door is closed almost all the way and Jon is sitting at the kitchen table, picking at the food Ryan had gotten.

Ryan drops down next to him and rests his head against Jon's blanket-covered shoulder.

"Did Tom come over?" Ryan asks. He can feel Jon nod.

"He brought me some medicine and we played monopoly."

Ryan snorts. "Party animals."

Jon laughs, too. "What about you? How did Jude do?"

Ryan pulls back a little so that he can see Jon's face. "He was great. He wasn't even scared of doing it alone and he made friends with this little girl around his age. I was so proud of him," Ryan admits. Jon is smiling, but at the same time, he looks a little sad, probably because he wasn't there to see it.

Ryan digs in the pocket of his jeans and pulls out his phone. "I took pictures for you," he says as he sets his phone down in front of Jon. Jon sets down his fries and leans over to press a kiss to the side of Ryan's head. He takes the phone and goes through the pictures Ryan took.

"Did you do it, too?" Jon asks. Ryan laughs a little and nods.

"He begged and there was no way I could say no."

"We're going to have to learn to say 'no' someday," Jon points out. Ryan sets his head against Jon's shoulder.

"Not today, though."

Jon stands up and Ryan gets up, too. Jon takes Ryan's hand and laces their fingers together before he leads them back to their bedroom. Ryan's tired and the bed is warm and comfortable. Jon runs his slightly rough hands down the naked skin of Ryan's back and – hey, that feels nice, too.

"Thank you for taking him," Jon breathes against Ryan's shoulders, pressing a kiss to the skin there.

"Yeah, well, he's my kid, too, you know? I want to see him happy."

"Such a good dad," Jon says, pressing a kiss between Ryan's sharp shoulder blades.

"Well, you totally owe me a blow job when you feel better."

***

The week and a half between then and Christmas passes by quickly. They spend an entire Saturday picking a tree out and putting it up, Jude bouncing with excitement around them. The three of them decorated the tree together. Jon let Jude hang up his special ornaments: the one they got him when he was a baby and the one from last year.

Ryan gets out the new one they bought just today and hands it over to Jude. Jon puts Jude up on his shoulders and Jude carefully hangs his ornament near the middle-to-top of the tree.

"Do you like it, Jude?" Jon asks after they've finished decorating. Jude nods eagerly and waves his hands around.

"It's pretty!" Jude exclaims, smiling at their Christmas tree. Ryan never much cared for the holiday growing up, but having a kid has changed that. He wants to do all the things he never cared about before, because he wants to see Jude's reaction.

At night, when Jude is sleeping, Jon and Ryan wrap the presents they bought him. Jon's been regaling Jude with stories about Santa Claus and they've already taken him to see the Santa at the mall. Ryan was a little proud that day, too, because, while, other kids were crying, Jude was grinning, wide and bright.

***

Ryan gets woken up bright and early on Christmas morning from a knee to his stomach.

"Ow, Jude," Ryan mumbles. He can feel Jon shifting around.

"Jude, watch out for your Daddy," Jon slurs.

"It's Christmas! And Santa came! He came and he left presents!" Jude squeals loudly. "Can we open them now? Please? Please? _Please_?"

Jon is recovered from his illness now and he sits up and wraps an arm around Jude's middle, pulling him up. Jude giggles and tries to look at Ryan. "Daddy, you come, too!"

Ryan sits up and rubs at his eyes. He fondly remembers the days when he used to be able to sleep in until at least noon. Jon's holding Jude upside down and Jude's laughing and turning a little red in the face. Jon sets him down. Jude grabs one of Jon's hands and pulls on him until they reach Ryan. He takes Ryan's hand, too, and leads his parents out into the living room.

"See! See! Santa came and he eat'd the milk and cookies we left out and I thought Marley was gonna bite Santa, but he didn't!" Jude rambles, releasing their hands and racing to his mountain of presents that surround the tree. "Can I open them?" he asks sweetly.

Jon grabs his camera off the kitchen table and Ryan starts some coffee. They both plop down on the couch, tired but happy. "Go ahead, Judes," Jon says. Jude wastes no time in ripping into his presents.

Fifteen minutes later, Jude has opened and inspected everything he got for Christmas, even the presents from Brendon and Spencer (Disney movies and clothes). He's playing with the remote-controlled fire truck they got him when Jon looks at Ryan and winks.

"Jude, did you get everything you wanted?" Jon asks. Jude nods enthusiastically.

"How did Santa know I wanted a piano?" Jude asks.

"He knows everything," Ryan helpfully interjects. Jude shrugs and keeps playing with his toys when Jon stands from the couch and heads into the kitchen.

"Oh, wow, Jude! It looks like Santa accidentally left something in our kitchen," Jon calls from the other room. Jude's head perks up and his eyes widen.

"He did?"

"Yeah." Jon reappears in the living room, walking carefully with a box in his hands. "It says it's for you."

Jude is standing now. Ryan smiles quietly. "Really?" Jude asks.

Jon nods, his face very serious. "Yes. It says that you have to be very, very careful with this present."

"I will," Jude promises, his voice breathless. Jon kneels down and lowers the box to Jude’s level. Jude carefully removes the top to the box. Jon is grinning and Ryan has the camera at the ready. Jude gasps loudly and lifts the present out of the box. "A kitty!" Jude shouts. The little orange bundle in his hands meows in response.

"Be careful with him, Jude," Jon says. Jude nods and holds the tiny, fuzzy kitten up so that he can see it. They bought him the kitten because Dylan and Clover are getting older and don't like to be held by Jude anymore. This way, Jude and the kitten can grow up together.

Jude walks slowly and carefully over to the couch and sits on it with his kitten in his lap.

"With the kitten, it means you have to feed him and give him water," Ryan says. Jude nods again, his eyes still wide and locked on the kitten. The kitten lifts its fuzzy orange head and nuzzles against Jude, its little pink tongue licking at his fingers.

"He's kissing me!" Jude giggles. Ryan snaps another picture.

"Do you like him?" Jon asks. Jude nods eagerly.

"I love him."

"Now he just needs a name," Ryan says. Jon nods in agreement.

Jude purses his lips and scrunches his nose as he thinks. The kitten is sniffing his hand and peering at Jon and Ryan with big, blue eyes. They're expecting Jude to pick something like "Orange" or "Kitty" or even "Patrick" after the starfish on Spongebob Squarepants. What they’re not expecting is for Jude to lift his head, his eyes determined, and say, "Pineapple!"

"Pineapple?" Jon asks. Jude laughs and nods.

"Why...Pineapple, Jude?" Ryan questions. Jude snuggles his kitten.

"I like pineapples."

Ryan looks at Jon and Jon at Ryan and then they’re laughing. Jude just smiles along.

An hour after they give him the kitten, Jude has fallen asleep. He's lying on the ruined wrapping paper with Pineapple curled up next to him. Jon can't stop taking pictures. Ryan and Jon are still on the couch, drinking their coffee. They exchanged presents, too: music and movies and camera accessories.

They're leaning against one another when Jon sighs happily.

"Did you get everything you wanted this year?" Ryan asks quietly. Jon is silent for a long moment before he answers.

"No."

Ryan pulls away and sets his coffee mug on the table – it's the "Father of the Year" one, except "year" has been crossed out and "universe" has been written in its place in black Sharpie. "No?" Ryan asks. "What didn't you get?"

Jon turns a little. "You couldn't give me everything I wanted, Ryan," Jon says as he takes Ryan's hands in his own. "I already have it with you and Jude."

Ryan is quiet. Jon smiles and Ryan snorts and laughs. "How'd I get such a cheesy husband?" he asks. Jon grins.

"You love me," Jon says proudly. Ryan leans forward until his face is inches from Jon's.

"I do." He leans in and kisses Jon, warm and familiar, the way Ryan loves it to be. They break apart and lean against each other once again.

"Merry Christmas, Ryan," Jon whispers. He sounds happy and content, exactly the way Ryan feels.

"Merry Christmas, Jon."


End file.
